*sigh*

i'm going to own up to the fact that i feel so vulnerable.

i don't know why i'm doing this. if i were more "myself", i won't even utter a word about it. i'd keep everything bottled up. that's what i've always done to "cope" with situations that confront me. in the short run, i would do just fine and dandy to get by the moment. pretty much my whole life, i've been "lying" to myself; i've gotten used to it. i tell myself that i'm "okay" and "fine", when in reality i'm in so much pain. i just brush it aside like it's nothing...like it hasn't happened in the first place. i know, i know...what i've been doing is pathetic! still, i live my life this way. when will i ever learn not to be like this?!

i don't know where this is coming from; i just feel so fragile that i'm going to be shattered into pieces.

what the hell's happening to me?? perhaps, i'm exhausted... but with what? i have no idea.

maybe, this is paranoia. i can't fathom why i'm so lost.

*sigh*