still very gloomy...

yup, i still am. it's been more than 2 months since i last looked at my blog. i'm still terrified to post something here. however, i felt so sad yesterday and until now that i needed to write this down. i freakin' just want to sleep for the rest of my waking hours, if only i could. lately, i've realized that i am so tired of it all, though i still continue to do what i do in each day. in short, i am in denial. that's how i've been coping. sometimes, i just block it out from memory, but that's not totally possible. anyway, for now, i feel like i'm a drone