the sand and sea aren't my cup of tea

i know the title of this post rhymes!...haha... anyway, it's self-explanatory.

i never liked going to the beach. i hate the feeling of walking on the sandy shore; the wet sand sticks to my feet and stays in between my toes (ugh!). i loathe the huge waves splashing onto my body; the salt dries up every inch of my flesh. i despise being hit by the harmful ultraviolet rays of the sun; it slowly toasts my skin to a burnt crisp. above all, going to the beach has always meant that i'd be away from "civilization". people would refer to me as "creature of comfort" in such a negative light. but that's just me!

for the last 3 days, i got dragged along by my family to "hell", disguised as a summer paradise. once again, my immense aversion for this place has been affirmed on so many levels. i really can't figure out what sort of "bliss" is derived by other humans with staying on the beach. it is and will always be a big mystery to me. *sigh

ME = an afterthought and a stranger to everybody else?!

it's so bloody difficult to trust some people! at first, they seem so nice and good on the outside. that's what they want me to believe, so that they can gain some foundation of closeness with me. such gestures to forge relationships are part of an elaborate ruse to catch me off guard. actually, i'm not at all surprised by the deception and trickery that they may have up their sleeves. they have their own vested interests. i always expect that they'll hurt and let me down. i can't even recall one moment in which i've felt that they've been "there" for me. perhaps, there may have been several displays of sympathy; but such moments have not been that "genuine" enough to be remembered. it's such a shame that i've always felt like an "AFTERTHOUGHT" towards people, even those whom are really close and dear to me. it's as if i'm still a STRANGER to their consciousness. damn it! *sigh*

always waiting

why do i always feel like i'm waiting for everybody else?... it's such a crummy feeling! what's worse is that i really don't have to, but i insist on feeling this way, anyway. perhaps, my life is so insipid that i engage myself in pointless and redundant reflections. aarrgghh!!!

new hairstyle = new me ?

hi... today, i went to the salon to have my hair cut, after more than 3 months. it feels so nice and wonderful to get a new hairstyle (with bangs...hehe). i was pondering in the chair, while my hair was being blow-dried. it felt that i was becoming a "new" me, but i'm still the same person. it's an odd notion, isn't it?...

back in training

after months and months of tackling school work, i'm back in Karate training on a weekly basis. yeah, i'm devoting 3 hours per day during saturdays and sundays to Karate. it's such an exhilarating feeling to know that i still have the passion for it. Karate isn't only a physical activity to busy myself with during the vacation, but also a character-building endeavor for my personal formation. after being away for quite a while, i am very eager to continue and perhaps excel in this undertaking, more than ever!...haha :)